we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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