There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
