you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
