My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
