Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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