Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
