And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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