My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
