He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
