Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It all started with a game of naked twister.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
