i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
