Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
