i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
