craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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