I got chris browned last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
soo... how was my night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
