I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
