Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
