At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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