Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize