I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize