You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
