I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
