Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
