real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The air was thick with penises
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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