She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
