I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize