We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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