1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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