what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
