Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
