puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
