Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
