Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
