sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
