It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
