when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
