I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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