You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
