yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So much rum. So many feels.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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