im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
