i just google imaged poop.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
