You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
