My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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