so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i think i just lost a toe
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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