you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
