so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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