you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
