doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
