like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
