Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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