i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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