I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
