Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
