why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
