singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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