You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
