I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
