Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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