as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
