The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize