Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i came on her dog
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
