His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
