Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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