I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
