North Korea, Best Korea!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
