I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
even my farts smell like vagina
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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