he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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